How to cope with Loneliness

English language has created the word loneliness to express the pain of being alone, and the word solitude to express the pleasure being alone. Loneliness is all around us. You see it everywhere – in the jammed streets of a town, in a room rocking with people packed but nothing to say to each other. You can be lonely even in a house filled with friends and family.
Basically, loneliness is a condition where we have only ourselves to rely on for any strength of sustenance. It is a time when we may be totally alone or, although we are with other, we may feel alienated from then and unable to share our unique experiences with any order human being at that particular moment.Solitude may be a very pleasant and peaceful enjoyment of life when there is no urgent need for contact with another human being.

We all have moments of pleasure alone-be it with nature, or music, or books or a favorite activity when we are perfectly content or happy to have the time alone. The consequences of loneliness can also be serious problem in themselves, Depression, boredom, restlessness, and psychosomatic illness. There are, however, rather generalized symptoms of unease, and you need to ask yourself if they really spring from aloofness or from others aspects of your life that need changing.The loneliness in marriage gone sour is one of the worst agonies of life. It happens when people drift away from one another because they have stopped sharing or caring. The extramarital affair is often the result of man or woman in search of someone who will listen to the problems that his or her partner is not interested in .Prostitutes frequently describe how the men who buy their time are more eager to talk about their troubles than to experience a sexual release.What then the lonely person to do? He must understand himself, with his assets, his personal worth .He must learn to value himself so he feels he is giving something worth ship. He must learn to giving something worthwhile when he offers his friendship. He must not be passive, waiting on the sidelines for someone to rescue him. Nor must he allow himself to be absorbed by the crowd .We all need to be alone sometime. Even in the most intense relationships .We need a heaven of solitude and self-nurturance. Learn to being alone. At some time everyone experiences some degree of loneliness. It is not to be dreaded .It has a place in a productive, happy life.Learn to meditate in some way. Take the opportunity to think about yourself and your life without distractions. You may find that keeping a journal or diary helps you concentrate your feelings and insights .if you are lonely and yet there are many people in your life, ask yourself what is missing. What connection do you yearn for that you lack? Do you need to develop new relationship or to deepen existing ones? Examine how your present state of loneliness came about. To what degree are you responsible for it? Have you chosen to live in a way that encourages loneliness? If you find loneliness unacceptable, yet you have to choose it, recognize that you are free to make a new choice. You can promote your inner life, encourage yourself to pursue interests, appreciate the people and life around you , and nourish your sense of humor .Keep in touch with the world surrounding you, with external events and with your creative powers: Use art as away of communicating with yourself and with others. Paint, dance, sing play music and take up a craft hobby, read books and magazine. Try to be patient to take each day as it comes. Involve yourself with others and their needs but not to the loss of your own. Rediscover the joy of sharing with and helping another person.Loneliness can be a positive choice, too. It may reflect a desire for independence from a social network you no longer wish to maintain. You may simply want to break free of uncomfortable entanglements you inherited. Always remember Loneliness cannot be escaped by using drugs, drinking, overeating, or oversleeping .These escapes are unproductive and dangerous, and merely prolong and aggravate the condition you need to change. Fantasizes and daydreams may be of some comfort and value on constructive planning, but they too can degenerate into mere escapes. Use lonely periods to reach for what you really want from yourself and from others to separate your true needs from the ones you or others think you should nave express .Many of us may feel extremely lonely although we are not alone . We may have husbands, wives , children parents , neighbors, coworkers, and others ,not good or enriching ,and we experience loneliness. It is important to examine what role we ourselves play in these relationships and what changes we could make. Presumably you workd refer for these relationship to be more loving and intimate. But perhaps you have given up and are not naking it possible for these relationship to flow freely. You may ,for instance, never express your needs or desires or your resentments and disappoints this would be naturally crate distance and reserve that is not helpful in providing a climate where closeness and warmth grow and nourish you. Always remember: loneliness can be a test and an opportunity rather than a complaint or an afflication . In one sense, we are all alone, individually separate. This realization can cause genuine pain, just as other experiences of loneliness can do: when w lose a loved one, or just go on a business trip or when we are by ourselves feeling an obligation, or illness. However, recognizing loneliness as a basic, inescapable part of our lives can be energizing rather than depressing.It can help us resolve to deepen , extend, and sustain our relationship with other people. It helps us to think of our fellows as each being lovable ,lonely person like ourselves . In modern time we deal with uncertainty, This creates the feeling of loneliness in all of us. But the business if living can bend uncertainty by our will. How? By exercising our sights to live as lone we can –to live and be happy .This means that we are goal strive and when we reach one goal we start for another.This reinforces you against loneliness as long as you live. In conclusion, none of us can avoid loneliness altogether, any more than we can avoid suffering or self –doubt. We are all separate individuals, each with somewhat different experiences, some of which we can share. We have to be able to accept loneliness as an unavoidable part of life. We also need to learn from it, and go on with our lives, without being totally defeated by loneliness...

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Sep 6, 2008